Holding in tension...

Ronald Rolheiser, in The Holy Longing, talks about biblical pondering. It's not, he says, the same as study or sitting down to theologizer about a person or situation. It is to hold in tension. To rest in pain, knowing that the Lord is my Shepherd regardless. It is to resist the temptation to seek a premature solution to that tension. It is to allow patience to have its perfect work...in physical pain, broken relationships, unpleasent circumstances, singleness, etc. It is to rest in the assurance of his Presence - which keeps me from fear....which, in turn, keeps me from anger depression, addiction.
Now...keeping that in mind, as I've been reading Matthew Sanford's memoir and tapping into other resources for yoga and similar practices, I keep hearing talk of "putting boudaries on your pain." Putting boundaries on my pain?? What does this mean?

As Mom and I walk up Escalante or La Canada (two streets with painfully steep hills that we alternately inflict on ourselves), the burning in my legs travels up my back and into my back, neck, and arms. If I were to create a physical picture of this pain, this tension, it would be radiating outward from my body. My mind becomes consumed with the desire to reach the tops of the hill - or to stop and turn around! To escape the discomfort. It is difficult to view the Lord as my Shepherd and the world around me as ultimately safe...because I am projecting my pain into the world around me. The air around my head smolders with it.
If, on the other hand, I put boudaries on my pain....it is contained. I view my body as a solid, non-permiable container for that pain. The pain, the tension, is contained rather than being allowed to seep into my environment. It becomes easier to know that he is my Shepherd and that I am ultimately safe. And if I am ultimately safe, there is no need to act out my fear (striking out in anger, depression, addiction). I live in that tension. I hold it. I refuse to seek premature escape or relief. So it comes, full circle, back to Rolheiser.
This is true not only of physical pain, but of psychological, relational, circumstantial pain as well. Any kind of element that is contrary to what we assume to be good, right, or ideal.

Now...also think about a child, afraid or in some degree of pain, going to her Daddy to be held. The child is seeking to have boudaries to her pain. Her Daddy is there, arms around her. The pain is contained and Daddy loves her...the world is ultimately safe. So God is/does for us.