Invitation to a Journey

I got the first few books that were listed for last semester's beginning classes for the MSFL. They're all so....GOOD! I've been reading Robert Mulholland's Invitation to a Journey...and finding a clearer vision, intention, and means of living a life of dicsipleship to Christ. He starts by defining "spiritual formation" - terminology, in our culture of self-improvement, that can so easily be misused. As Mulholland defines it, spiritual formation is "a process of being conformed to the image of Christ for the sake of others" (p.15). The chapters on creation gifts and holistic spirituality took an in-depth look at Jung's personality types and how these would influence the journey to Christlikeness. This is not approached from the standpoint of, "This is my personality type, so it's ok that I don't want to do this discipline or that practice. It's just not me." No, no. Instead, we look at and nurture our personality preferences...but we also challenge our preference to develop balanced habits.
Mulholland then goes into the classical stages of Christian pilgrimage: awakening, purgation, illumination, and union. Interestingly, this was touched on at the very beginning of the "Mystic Saints" retreat in Pecos. Purgation is the stage, I think, that we want to gloss over. So many conversations in the church center on the initial conversion experience (awakening) and the "high times," when we suppose God is going to zap us into perfection. Purgation is the slow and painful process of releasing the habits of thought and behavior that keep us from Him....of allowing our hearts to be transformed so that we become the kind of people who can be united to Him. It is this stage that we find the spiritual disciplines - means by which God is given access to the deepest places of our hearts (though there is a need for discipline through every stage in the journey, it seems they are most prevalent in purgation - though I could be totally wrong :o).

What I read today is an exploration into the "classical spiritual disciplines." Mullholland gives a totally new perspective on the very definition of prayer and touches on spiritual reading....but what has really captured my attention are his thoughts on liturgy. Consisting of worship, daily office, study, fasting, and retreat, liturgy is a "personal structure of daily activity" that helps us to more continuously see our lives in the context of "God's new order of being" (pp. 115-116). It's a daily rhythm that is essential to the journey....it helps us to stay rooted in a different reality from what is contstantly pressing us in the visible world. It reminds us of the community of believers, companions on the journey, with and for whom we are being transformed.

This is all sooooo...yummy! Next we go into the nature and dynamics of the spiritual disciplines.

This is absolutely sickening. Our lives are sooooo sheltered, sooooo far removed from any real problems.

Kenyan children abducted, tortured

First-time tagged...

I was “tagged” by Redhead Rev…my first time doing this in the blog world…so I’ll share the love!

Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Subway “sandwich artist”
2. Shift manager at the local movie theater
3. Administrative assistant at Ruidoso Regional Council for the Arts (current)
4. freelance graphic designer (experimenting)

Four movies I could watch over and over:
1. Narnia
2. Just about any of the films based on Jane Austen’s life and work
3. Rain Man
4. Music Within

Four places I have lived:
1. Ruidoso, NM
2. Ruidoso, NM
3. Alto, NM (very near Ruidoso, NM)
4. Ruidoso, NM

Four TV shows I like:
1. The Office
2. I don’t have cable!
3. I don’t have satellite!
4. ???

Four Favorite Foods:
1. Nothing’s as amazing as Mom’s homemade bread….fresh out of the oven, when the outside is crunchy and the inside is steaming and soft…and, ohhhhh the aroma….mmm. Now I’m hungry.
2. sweet potatoes…
3. the Turkey Avacado wrap at The Wild Herb (now there’s some good eats)
4. just about any kind of fresh produce we can pick up at the farmers’ market. Last week was apricots…this week was figs.

Four Places I Would Rather Be:
1. Sometimes…..Pecos Benedictine Monastery. :o)
2. NOT at Wal-mart
3. Out on a walk…preferably whith trees, birds, etc.
4. At home

People I’m Tagging: whoever's in to being tagged. :o)

The countdown...

Nine weeks.

It's actually coming up much more quickly than I thought it would.

My first class at SAU starts on August 25. This is the master's program of my dreams! Yet there's this nagging apprehension. It won't go away. Afraid I won't measure up. That I'll be in way over my head. And maybe I will. But that's when we grow, right?

But there's a world of difference between fear and dread. I'm not dreading this...not at all. I really feel that this is something God is leading. But fear. That's another story. But for me, change always brings a rash of butterflies in the stomach and self-doubt.

This too shall pass.

The key is to remember that He's my shepherd. Regardless of any accomplishment or failure, excited anticipation or fear. I lack nothing.

Monastic Rhythm

It's odd to me...that something experienced over a short, 5-day period...could uncover such a deep longing within me. During my time in Pecos, one of the things that I found deeply helpful, and hated most to leave behind, was the steady monastic rhythm. We rise, we pray, spend time in silence, we sing, we eat, we work….we rest. The daily prayer included Vigils (6:30am), lectio (7:00am), and Lauds (7:30am); after breakfast and a few hours of activity, midday prayer (Noon), followed by a few more hours of work; then Vespers (5:00pm), dinner, and Compline before bed.
When I first got there, the liturgy was strange to me and I felt smothered by an intense sense of loneliness. The last two days of the retreat became more restful...it got to where I was longing for the time that the bell would ring and we could go to the chapel...into the silence...with the voices of the Brothers and Sisters leading us once again through the Psalms and prayers. On the last day I skipped the final lecture (it was even on St. Francis!!) so I could go sit alone in the chapel before midday prayer. The rhythm becomes a life-giving entity...that somehow allows the mind to dwell more continuously on the Source of Life.

After I got home, I had to opportunity to meet and talk with a man who used to be a Franciscan monk. He talked about that rhythm. He talked about the joys of a contemplative life. But he emphasized the importance of finding that rhythm in everyday life outside the monastery. It must be possible to find a place of full integration…this is my hope.

Here are a few paragraphs from an excellent article by Christine Sine entitled, "Why a Rule of Life?"....check out the full article when you can.

...For many of us, the thought of developing a rule of life conjures up images of legalistic rules and regulations that take away the joy of spontaneous expressions of faith. This was what my friend Michael thought when he first went to spend a few weeks at a local monastery: “You know this business of stopping for prayer five times a day? I thought it would be really restricting,” he told me. “I actually found the opposite to be true. We all knew that no matter what we were doing, when the chapel bell rang, we laid down our tools and headed for prayer. It took the focus away from work as the most important thing to God.”

Creating a rule of life should be a response to being loved by God, and feeling moved to become what God calls us to be in this world. It makes us very aware of how we spend our time each day and of how we might spend it better. Our awareness of this gap motivates us to change so that God becomes our focus rather than work or family or even Christian ministry. A rule can give us the courage and discipline to form new routines that reward us with growing intimacy with God. In her helpful book Why Not Celebrate! Sara Wenger Shenk says, “If it isn’t possible to know the quickening presence of God in the everyday routine, one might as well ship religiosity off to a seminary library and leave it there. Either God is God of all of life, or God is on the reserve shelf, available and relevant only to a sanctified elite.” The daily repetition of simple practices that focus our hearts on God does far more to nurture deep, meaningful spiritual growth than the occasional “mountain top” experience...

...Establishing a rule usually begins with disciplines of prayer and the daily reading of Scripture, but it also provides time for study and reflection, encompasses physical work, time to celebrate with and serve others, and the need for leisure and rest. Practicing a rule of life is a community affair. Practicing our faith in community with others moves us against the grain of our individualistic culture. There is strength in joining forces with others who have a similar hunger and desire to live the way of Jesus in the here and now.
I am convinced that to be a follower of Christ we must intentionally work to develop spiritual practices that put our faith and its rhythms at the center of all we are and do. Only then can we find a healthy life of stability and richness that easily withstands the pressures and stresses of our culture.

Hill of Crosses

Yeah....another short post. It's amazing how busy a schedule can become in the middle of summer, working a part-time job, and having no classes to keep up with. Makes me wonder how much is actually necessary.....?

Anyway. A friend send this to me and...wow. What a symbol of devotion.

Hill of Crosses, Lithuania

Soul-Numbing Ruts

Ok...wow. This is really good stuff.

Soul-Numbing Ruts

Abba

Walking with Mom this morning, just after topping Escalante (a street with a hill that is certainly worthy of the name), she was reciting Romans 8...one part particularly stood out to me: "...you have received the spirit of adoption. When we cry, 'Abba, Father,' it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God..."
I've been told that this word "Abba" is the equivalent to our "Papa"- also the name used for God the Father in William Young's The Shack. During a short exercise in centering prayer with the group in Pecos, I rested in this name of God. Papa. There's something very intimate, very...warm in the name. But it somehow transcends familiarity and goes deeper than feeling closer to Him.

Calling God "Abba, Father" is different from giving God a familiar name. Calling God "Abba" is entering into the same intimate, fearless, trusting, and empowering relationship with God that Jesus had. That relationship is called Spirit, and that Spirit is given to us by Jesus and enables us to cry out with him, "Abba, Father."

Calling God "Abba, Father" (see Roman 8:15; Galatians 4:6) is a cry of the heart, a prayer welling up from our innermost beings. It has nothing do with naming God but everything to do with claiming God as the source of who we are. This claim does not come from any sudden insight or acquired conviction; it is the claim that the Spirit of Jesus makes in communion with our spirits. It is the claim of love.

(Henry Nouwen Society, Daily Meditation for June 11, 2008)



In Reaching Out, Nouwen explores the differences between loneliness and solitude. Solitude lays claim to this kind of intimacy and love for which there are no words. My time at the monastery last week...was a time of learning deeper communion with my Papa. Separated from all familiarity (faith tradition, place, schedule, diet, people), what is left to cling to? I so often wished for things to be more like home. Coming back to "normal" life after beginning to love the rhythm and precious silence, joy, and love in the monastery setting...the tendency is to sludge through "normal" life wishing things could only be more like they are in Pecos. I once read that if only is the quickest, most definite path to despair. There must be, underneath life circumstances and all things external, a strong and continuous thread providing the stability we long for.

I'm baaack...

Went on a retreat to Pecos Benedictine Monastery, June 5-today. Just got home. I went not really knowing what to expect...and now I'm coming home not knowing what to expect. The problem of re-entry! I will post some of my retreat journalings in the days to come.

Heartbreaking...

"Uganda's children work on dangerous rock pile"

I just read this article...it's so sad, it's so wrong, yet what can be done? Gary Haugen (founder, International Justice Mission) says that the first step is to get over this ridiculous idea that "I can't do anything."

God is a just God...how can we be his hands and feet in carrying out justice in this incredibly unjust world?